The Name Game

Call me crazy, but I never really got the whole change-your-last name business.

Probably because I never saw myself as the marrying kind–for multiple reasons–much less someone who’d actually be fortunate enough to snag someone genuinely wonderful in today’s ridiculously difficult dating pool.

Because I always felt like that really hairy guy with floaties on who’d have to grab an oar, whack a guy upside his head, pull him poolside, and act all like I-saved-your-life-here’s-some-mouth-to-mouth-and-maybe-let’s-get-coffee-sometime.

You know, like a real lifeguard.


But smack me across the face and call me Sally (don’t), I did find someone when I least expected it.

And, still, I can’t really fathom how he fell into my life.

He was like *poof* insta-boyfriend/companion/friend/confidant/partner-in-crime-and-life.

It just happened so quickly that I’m still waiting to wake up from some accidental Melatonin overdose and drive to my horrible former job and be back in my former life.

But, here I am: happily coupled, and unshackle…er, employed.

(Alright, one happy outcome out of two life-changers ain’t bad.)

The main thing is that I’m happy.

We’re happy.

Everyone’s happy.

Except that grumpy cat everyone keeps inserting into memes.


So when the auto technician came up to the waiting area this morning and called, “Matt Corbin,” I jumped up so quickly that I nearly launched my book across the room, smacking the employee arguing over the phone with a disoriented wrong number caller.

Was this some sort of ruse?

Was this a surprise proposal, and was I expected to walk down the ADA ramp like an aisle, clutching the license plate bracket I’d just bought like a bouquet, and meet Andy at the check-out counter, the service parts team members tossing tree air fresheners like rice?


Which is probably why I got some weird looks when I started humming the wedding song on my way down the ramp.

Not really.

I mean, I’m prone to letting my imagination get away with me. But I know I’ll be the one proposing whenever the time comes. Because, really, we’ve talked about it: It’ll be safer for the general public if I have some means of knowing when to anticipate it.

So, yes, y’all should thank me for sparing you my accidental elbow-to-eye gouges, rogue flying dinner knives to restaurant patrons’ thighs, or decibel-breaking, eardrum-rupturing shrieks, all of which are likely should I ever be surprised. (That goes for parties, too.)

I aim to please.


So I got up, chatted with the technician, sat back down, and smiled to myself.

Because even though we plan to eventually hyphenate our last names, it’s still the unexpected reminders, slips of the tongue, that get me.

Because when two names collide, even with a hyphenated cushion, you know there’s a story tied with it.

Roses, bow ties, and photos--oh, my! The stories.

And I love stories.

Especially ours.

6 Replies to “The Name Game”

  1. I was almost 28 and thought I was doomed to bachelorhood when I met my beloved. Like you it was totally unexpected & I couldn’t believe my serendipity – this great guy and he wanted to be with me! No way! After living in 5 states and finally ending up in CA we will be celebrating our 20th anniversary this July & our 10th wedding anniversary in Oct ( we married soon after the law was changed in Ontario). Relationships are an ongoing endeavour & work, though I don’t mean this in a pejorative sense; it’s truly a labor of love. My hope is that you & Andy will be as happy as we have been all these yrs and that your love will only deepen.

    1. We’ve already been through a lot, and I definitely agree that every step forward, every bit of exhaustion, is worth the labor it requires! And congrats on y’all’s anniversary! That’s A-MAZING!

  2. Thanks! On one hand it seems like I’ve always known Scott and then there are times when it’s like “Wow,20 yrs- where did the time go? It seems like we met yesterday”
    You & Andy make such a sweet couple, I can see your mom chanting “kiss him,kiss him” at the dinner table.( I read all of your blog posts yesterday to catch up). You both seem grounded & supportive of one another and you talk which is critical to a solid relationship. I can hear that Mary Tyler Moore song “you’re gonna make it after all…” As long as you guys have each other you will. Take care & catch you later.

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