Another Dei-ty in the Neighborhood

Shortly before I’m mistaken for Jesus by a coke addict claiming to be my disciple, I silently conjure a minor pox upon the woman whose unwavering, deadpan stare is making our Pinkberry experience a bit unnerving.

It’s one thing to cast a passing glance.

It’s another thing entirely to turn and stare. Especially with such a quizzical, judgmental air.

Sure, we all stare–make people slightly uncomfortable, intentionally or not.

Like the time when I was four, standing in a hot dog line with my mom, staring doe-eyed at a fairly rotund man in front of us.

I pointed directly at him.

“Mommy!”

My cherub-like red cheeks coupled with my a golden fro, and my chubby, outstretched arm allegedly attracted the attention of several others in line.

*Everyone stares, rapt in my cuteness.*

“He’s faaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaat.”

*Collective facepalm*

I don’t get a hot dog.

***

Now.

As any big move goes, there’s a lot to learn about your new home.

And I’m trying to keep up.

So, to help me keep track, here’re a few things I’ve learned:

(1) People stare. Hard. I could be Josh Groban. Or Jesus.

(2) Everyone runs traffic lights. So don’t expect to go immediately after the light turns green.

(3) Pinkberry is basically amazing.

(4) Coffee Bean is doubly amazing.

(5) Parking is a nightmare. Which is why it pays to confirm your apartment either has parking nearby, or has a space included with your rent.

(6) The weather is glorious. It’s sort of like Groundhog Day, just with sunshine in lieu of Bill Murray. Every single day.

(7) DO NOT GO ON THE 110 DURING RUSH HOUR.

(8) Don’t think you can breakfast in Koreatown, antique in Sherman Oaks, walk on the beach in Malibu, and still retain your sanity. Pick a few things to do within close proximity of each other every weekend.

(9) Act like you know where you’re going. Even if you’re hopelessly lost.

(10) Don’t succumb to Big City Snobbery and avoid speaking to people. (Except coked-out Disciple of Jesus.) For instance, I had a perfectly lovely conversation with a man in line at the bank. I have no idea what he said, but he smiled a lot, and so did I.

***

It’s hard to believe we’re actually living here now. It just hasn’t clicked yet.

Back to Malibu!

Because it wasn’t that long ago that we were just visitors.

California is where we want to be.

But with every new lesson we learn, we’ll slowly find our way.

And begin to call this place home.

4 thoughts on “Another Dei-ty in the Neighborhood

  1. I think you hit the nail on the head- being in celebrity crazed LA everyone thinks you’re someone famous or even semi-famous “Wait, is this guy on the Young & Restless?”. You guys are young & good looking, expect more of the same. Ditto on the rest of your list. Stay friendly even if it occasionally leads to bizarre encounters- it’s good karma. And the weather…. I still remember being delighted at flowers in bloom in Dec, the palm trees, my neighbor giving me lemons from her tree in the dead of winter- definitely not the cold & snowy northeast. All in all, the left coast is pretty awesome. Here’s to more exploring & adventures and to your new home !

  2. Wonder who she thought you were?
    Glad you guys are learning the ropes. I must try Pinkberry!
    I’m jealous of your weather! The last week here has been thunderstorms alternating with high temperatures (upper 80s/lower 90s).

  3. Pingback: The Scarlet K | Yellow Brick Missives

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